This week on another bi-coastal BTL, Hillary goes full "Shillary" on a Greenpeace activist, causing the world's greatest photo (at left) to be taken. She's super tired of being attacked for her record and is withholding any debating pearls of genius from the state of New York until we all agree to stop talking about it. Things aren't going much better on the right, where all three candidates are now refusing to vote for each other. It's a real race through Wisconsin and onto New York, where we assume Trump will explain which of the five positions he expressed on abortion this week are actually his. Then we're on to a rundown of the GOP's slate of lesser-known presidential candidates, at least one of whom thinks God has cured him of leukemia three times. Enjoy this primary downtime with us as your guides!