In Which We Discuss:

1. Low turnout in South Carolina led to Hillary Clinton blowout.  Sounds right.

2. Guys, Trump is going to bring us “so much everything” when he’s president. Hopefully “everything” means pizza, but it might mean racism so keep an eye out.

3. If the latest GOP Debate is any guide, the “fruit salad” of Marco Rubio’s life involved his lunch money being stolen every single day

4. Anybody who’s anybody in whatever the opposite of MENSA is endorsed Donald Trump this week

5. Super Tuesday is upon us THIS WEEK and all signs point to Texas is proving once again that it can’t be trusted

6. Nobody is safe from schoolyard logic, not even Hillary Clinton

7. Adult armed militias are so 2015, so trendsetter state Iowa sets their sights on forming a toddler squad